one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

pass to pinky

 
speaking of football, the freedom fries pool has returned.

I have been a very naughty blogger. 21 days between posts is too long, and it won't happen again. not that anyone noticed, but still. anyway, this should make up for it.


I returned yesterday from a 10 day trip to the east coast. I spent half the time in philly with my parents and half the time with claudia in boston. philly was relaxing and fun. we went to the jersey shore, spent a day on the beach and a night on the boardwalk, saw a very creepy Titanic exhibit at the Franklin Institute, caught up with old high school friends, and just spent some quality time with the family.

boston, on the other hand, was anything but relaxing. I arrived on Thursday afternoon, just as the masses were making their way to fenway for the 1pm sox game. big mistake. trying to take the T in boston with two large suitcases is always tricky. trying to take the T with two large suitcases as 30,000 people are crowded on trains headed in the same direction as you is a fucking joke. a word of advice: check the sox schedule before booking flights to boston. anyway, once I dropped my luggage off at claudia's apartment, I went to Boston Billiards with matt for $1 Miller Lite Drafts. It's funny how that works. On a normal day, you would never catch me drinking a shit beer like Miller Lite. But change the price to one dollar and suddenly, I can't get enough. Claudia and her boyfriend met up with us and after $7 worth of beer, a $7 gardenburger, a free beer and shots from a strange group of guys, we left for Fenway. Oh, but not before the guy who bought the beers whispered in my ear, "Look out for me during the game. I'm streaking across the field!" Boston guys really know how to impress a girl.

Thursday's game was fun, but unfortunately, I don't remember much of it. Matt and I had pretty good seats a few rows behind the Sox bullpen. $17 for two beers and peanuts, Karim Garcia jeers, checking out Varitek in the bullpen, falling over in the bathroom stall, and a 4-0 Sox victory over the Orioles. That's it. But I apparently had fun and I've got a gigantic bruise on my thigh to show for it.

Friday Claudia and I spent the afternoon eating an extremely late breakfast at B&D, the greatest Jewish deli on Earth, and searching through tons of clothes at H&M. (rant: Where on earth is there not an H&M in Dallas? Goddamn, that is the best store on the Planet. Endrant.) We met up with Claudia's boyfriend Dave, and met up with Matt, Larry, Mike, and Kenny at the Sports Depot to have dinner, drink some beers, and watch the Sox/MFY game. I wish I had gotten a picture of this place. There were probably 40 flat screen tvs in a room that was probably only twice to three times the size of my living room. And of course, Sox/MFY was on all of them. Amazing. It was a fun night of beer, all-you-can-eat fish frys, beer, claiming TVs, screaming at the game, Kevin Millar homeruns, mirrored bathroom floors, a run that was really an out, and torturing Yankee fans. After a heartbreaking loss, and paying our $233 tab, we took off for the Silhouette. After a sox/mfy debate got a bit too heated, we called it a night. this brings us to...

the greatest day of my life. sure, there's high school graduation, or falling in love, or a number of other potential milestones, but looking back, I'd rather relive this day than just about any other.

We woke up saturday morning to a heavy rain that made me think there was no way the 3pm sox game would be played. but sure enough, when claudia, dave and I walked out the door at noon, it was cloudy and cool but the rain was gone. we got to Fenway around 1pm and the streets were already packed. we found a table at Boston Billiards, where we met up with Matt, Kenny, Mike and Adam for more dollar drafts. after a few hours of pre-game activity, it was off to Fenway just in time to see the Dropkick Murphy's butchering the national anthem. and then...

The Game. Lots of important things happened in this game, but there are only two worth mentioning. Bronson Arroyo goes inside with a pitch and hits ARod on the elbow. Instead of taking first base like a man, ARod blows up and throws three or four F-bombs at Arroyo. The MFY were already up 3-0, so it clearly was unintentional. But Arod is a jackass. This has been proven. Thoroughly. So Varitek gets in front of ARod and tells him, "in choice words," as Tek put it, to get to first. ARod's reaction to a very large man, in full catcher's gear, getting in his face?

"Fuck you! Come on!"

What a fucking genius. So Tek jumps him and the crowd goes wild. Timlin leads the charge out of the bullpen and it's a full-on bench-clearing melee. Tek, ARod, and Kaplar are ejected, but not Worcestor's own Tanyon Sturtze (for some odd reason), and I'm pretty sure, right then, that I've already gotten $140 worth.

Fast forward to the 9th inning. Sox fans are nervous. We want to believe that our team can pull out a victory, but we've seen this a million times...we know how it usually ends. And then, a double for Nomar. No outs. Suddenly, we think, "maybe...just maybe." Trot flies out. More nail biting. Constant peeks at the scoreboard. Kevin Millar is up at the plate. Three homers the night before...can he possibly do it again? Then - a run scoring single. It suddenly feels like last October, when this team keeps finding new ways to win. One run down, one out, and last year's batting champ at the plate. Fingernails have been bitten to stubs, beers finished. Fans on their feet. A 3-1 count. And then, a solid shot that hangs for what seems like forever before dropping into the bullpen. A two run homerun...Sox win. Fenway erupts in what has to have been the most wild regular season celebration of all time. Dirty Water blasts over the soundsystem not once but twice, because the fans refuse to leave. Billy Mueller is interviewed on the jumbotron and the crowd goes crazy. The celebration lasts at least 15 minutes. Screaming, hugging, disbelief. The scene outside is no different. The streets are a sea of people looking just like they did when the Pats won the super bowl. Feeling like we are floating, we arrive at Boston Billiards, meet up with the boys, and continue the celebration. For the next three hours, every time the TVs airing ESPNEWS show the game highlights, the crowd erupts all over again. It was specfuckingtacular. From then the night was spent barhopping, laughing with old friends, rearranging a lumber yard, dancing in a super swank eurotrash club, and savoring every minute of that day's game.

the. perfect. day.

Sunday was spent walking from Brookline to Downtown Crossing, soaking in as much Boston as I could to hold me over until my next visit, and then making our way back to Fenway to stand in line for tickets to that night's finaly Sox/MFY game. After four hours of standing in line, we were awarded three of the last eight tickets to the game. At 7:55pm, we ran into Fenway and up to our $20 seats for the 8pm game. While it could never hold a candle to the Saturday game, it was enjoyable in different ways. Until the Yankees managed a grand slam, it was a thorough ass-kicking, with the Sox up 9-2. Still, they won 9-6 and took two out of three from the Evil Empire.

All in all, I went 3-3 at Fenway this weekend, got to spend quality time with some really amazing friends, laughed my ass off continuously for four straight days, and finally had a chance to return to the heart of red sox nation.

(pictures coming soon)

jesus christ. philadelphia can't win anything, even this...


always a bridesmaid...


never a bride...

I love 3-day weekends, and this one was no exception. It's all a blur now, but I remember lots of baseball, beer and sun, which is exactly what the 4th of July should be.

On Saturday and Sunday, I watched the Sox game on my computer thanks to Maureen's MLB.com TV account. I'm thinking next year I may have to split this with her..it's the coolest thing ever. You just log in and you can watch any game full-screen on your computer. It's not as good as getting NESN on your TV, but it's close. Saturday was spent swimming, followed by throwing back a few Dead Guy Ales while watching the Sox game, followed by amazing sushi at Piranha....very nearly the perfect day. On Sunday, I watched the first few innings of the Sox game and, with them up 4-1, chris and I decided to go on a grueling 10 mile bike ride in the hot Texas sun. An hour or so later, I came home to the Sox trailing 10-1. Argh. I think that pretty much exemplifies the sox season thus far.

Chris and I spent a total of 4 hours in Half Price Books this weekend. on weekend nights, nonetheless. such nerds.

Yesterday I spent the day at the Ticket bbq. i played more water volleyball than I have probably ever played in my life. my right arm is wicked sore and i can't turn my neck to the right, but it was most definitely worth it. good times.

other random stuff...

Excite.com deemed this one of the 12 most important news stories of the day yesterday.


...and this:

"Have you gone out and bought Clinton's new book, 'Mein Kampf'? ... the English translation is 'My Life', but I suppose in German it's gonna be translated into Mein Kampf. It should be a big seller over there ...

"So there it is -- you wanna read 'Mein Kampf', go read it -- I mean 'My Life', excuse me, I keep mixing up the two titles -- of Bill Clinton's and the other fella who ran Germany for awhile."

That little piece of brilliance is compliments of Michael Savage, who compares Bill Clinton to Adolf Hitler. Seriously. Getting a blowjob is comparable to exterminating 6 million jews. I know how the radio business works; he's just trying to create controversy to attract more listeners. but seriously...Hitler?!?