I have a confession to make.

This past weekend I came to a realization that made me feel dirty, guilty, and ashamed all at once.

I want Kevin Millar back on the 2005 Boston Red Sox.

On Saturday night, I sat down for my first viewing of the MLB World Series DVD and the NESN Faith Rewarded DVD. Despite the fact that 80% of the material on both DVDs was identical, they did not disappoint. Though I'd much rather have watched Games 4 and 5 of the ALCS in their entirety, the DVDs did a pretty good job of recreating the magic of last season.

Then there's the bonus footage. Such classics as Cooking with Ortiz are sure to become cult classics in Red Sox Nation, but the highlight for me was the footage of playoff pre-game on field conversations between Embree, Timlin, and, specifically, Millar.

Down 3-0 to the Yankees, Millar was nothing but positive. "Don't let us win today," he warned repeatedly. "If we win today, we've got Pedro in game 5 and Schilling in 6. Anything can happen in a game 7." Eyes rolled all over New England as Sox fans prepared themselves for what could have been the final game of the season. The psycho cowboy with the unhealthy fried chicken obsession was at it again; sure, there was a chance that everything he said could come true, but we weren't letting ourselves get sucked in again.

We know what happened next. And though a positive attitude alone isn't enough on which to mount the greatest comeback in sports history, it's a solid foundation. It's impossible to say what would have happened in the ALCS were it not for Kevin Millar's positive, carefree attitude, but it's clear that the locker room would not have been nearly as loose or relaxed as they were prior to Game 4.

Sure, most of this has been said before. Hell, the guy reminds us of his intangibles every chance he gets. But I'm finally realizing that this guy isn't full of crap. Well, not completely, anyway. And while he's no Mientkiewicz on the bag, the animal living on his chin scares the crap out of me, and his faux-Cowboy persona borders on embarassing, I can't imagine the 2005 Boston Red Sox without him.

Now, does anyone else feel dirty or is it just me?