Things I would rather hear than another Randy Johnson/Shawn Green trade update.
1. Insane Clown Posse's Greatest Hits album. On repeat.
2. The Tomahawk Chop in surround sound
3. "1918..1918..1918.."
4. 10 hours of American Idol outtakes
5. "And the Cowboys are SuperBowl champs once again..."
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With the NFL playoffs about to get underway, there are loads of fascinating storylines to follow:
1. How many minutes into the first Colts game will Peyton Manning need the Heimlich?
2. How badly will Mike Martz fuck up in Saturday's Wild Card game?
2B. How long after Martz's poor decision making overshadows the Rams' atrocious play will he be fired?
3. After doing everything they could to miss the playoffs and still finding a way to back in, will the Minnesota Vikings roll over and die for the Packers on Sunday?
4. Will the Eagles, who will have gone a month without playing an important game, remember how to actually play football?
5. How long after the Division Championship game will the Pittsburgh Police Department wait to arrest Ben Roethlisberger for impersonating an NFL quarterback?
6. How many minutes into the Super Bowl will I fall asleep?
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Things that are better, even now, than hearing the words "Yankees choke" used together:
1. none
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