Things the Red Sox do:
1. Get on base at impressively high rates.
2. Hug. Often.
3. Struggle against rookie pitchers. And lefties.
4. Occassionally delay innings by disappearing into the Monster.
5. Make Mariano Rivera look human.
6. Lead the MLB in runs scored, total hits, and OPS.
Things the Red Sox do NOT do:
1. Bunt.
2. Shy away from the spotlight.
3. Keep their mouths shut.
4. Lose to the Devil Rays in the 10th inning with Curt Schilling on the mound.
Do you hear me, Boston Red Sox?
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